Lets keep this UK Grime/Rap related - as Dizzie Rascal says "Don't make me get old skool"
It's time to face the facts. Google maps on your smart phone is handy, but the last three times i've used it for directions, I've ended up somewhere else. On two of these occasions, it's been snowing. And we all know England can't handle heavy rain without some kind of serious flood occurring let alone water vapor that has frozen falling from the sky. Turmoil is a fast process when the snow starts to fall and finds itself settling. Repeated stories on the news of another weekend of snow, another night with those heading on the motorway having to sleep in their cars. England -get a grip! (And no! That was not a pun about snow tyres etc)
Yesterday was no different. Walking a simple half an hour walk took two hours. Trying to look at google maps whilst its snowing is nothing but difficult. Your hands are frozen, (thank the lord iPhones don't have buttons, impossible to type with frozen fingers) snow melting on the screen gives the words an unwanted 3D affect and your phone looks like you've just dropped it in the bath. I trooped on though, I needed to reach the laptop repair shop. Determined as though my life depended on it I marched down the A road in converses slipping all over the place. After 45 minutes the map instructions could no longer give me directions to my destination. I asked an old lady at the bus stop presuming she was a local. She didn't have any idea either as she wasn't from around here. I then realised I was standing outside HM Prison Leeds (I didn't even know this existed) and she was just here visiting. Right. After then walking around a derelict industrial park I headed back down a mile to a parade of shops bus stop lady had informed me of. No sign. At this point I had become a walking snowman.
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On the verge of crying I asked another lady walking towards me (nothing but helpful and friendly the Leeds folk). She told me to ask in the pet shop. The pet shop had a large set of stairs leading up to it. Que home alone scene when KEVIN has poured water on the icy steps and the burglar goes flying. Stumbling in to the pet shop was the biggest relief of the last hour and a half. A kind member of staff was unsure of where it was to so kindly went on his computer - and google mapped it.
"What you have to do is walk straight down this road..until you get to the prison, it's right next to the prison." Trying to refrain from tears I thanked him and headed back out. At this point, I had given up. I tried to call a taxi but I was caller number twenty-six. Of course I was. Who goes out walking in the snow?
I decided to give it one more go. I made it back to the prison and had a walk around. I found the prison visitor center. I was given dodgy looks by guards. But there was definitely no sign of a computer repair shop.
So I rang them. Why I hadn't done this hours earlier I do not know. This is what he said "Look up from the prison, you see across the bridge there's an old building, we are located in there." I was in disbelief. I had been standing just meters away from here almost two hours ago. The map could no longer give me further details. Almost sprinting to the building (which oddly looked like the school from Matilda) I rang the buzzer and they let me in. It was the strangest building, big open space in the middle with staircases up the sides and offices only around the sides of the building. Even though I had finally made it, I still felt that something was not right.
But I was wrong and it was fine. And soon I'll have a working laptop. It better not be snowing when its ready.
Why was it that the map could not give me any further details when I was only five minutes away? Why when driving up the M6 to Leeds (quite a major city) it took us off and put us en route to Goole (where you ask? We thought the same!) And when I was attending a christening in a Church of England Church it lead me to a Baptist Church three miles in the opposite direction. What happened to a good old A-Z? They wouldn't tell you it could no longer direct you to your destination. It certainly wouldn't run out of battery. Yes, it would still get wet from the snow. Yes, you can't really carry it around in your pocket all the time. Yesterday however was an I hate technology day. The irony being technology failed me whilst I was looking for a place to repair the technology that had already failed me.
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| What the motorway looked like eventually arriving in Leeds |
So "don't make me get old skool" but sometimes, a bit of old skool wouldn't go a miss!